You're in My Head
by Junko the Lost
Summary: Malik contemplates his relationship with Ryou. To "You're in My Head" By Brian McComas. MalikXRyou. Angstshipping


Author: Junko the Lost  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or "You're in My Head" by Brian McComas  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, angstshipping, MalikXRyou  
  
~~~~~  
  
~*I don't know why I'm even calling  
  
I told myself I'm through with falling  
  
Right now I should be running from these thoughts of you  
  
That just keep coming, but I can't*~  
  
"Hey, Ryou, it's me Malik," Malik said into his cell phone. "I was just calling, to, you know, see how you're doing. Um, call me." He hung up, sighing. Gods, he hadn't known it would be so hard to live without the little white-haired boy.  
  
He missed driving for hours in his car just talking with Ryou about nothing, radio music blasting as they sang along to rap, country, techno, any song they knew. He missed knowing that when he went out at three in the morning to a bar in the middle of town, that someone would wait up for him. He missed waking up with Ryou in his arms.  
  
~*You're in my head, you're in my heart  
  
You're in that song on the radio in my car  
  
Even in my dreams  
  
I feel your skin on my skin  
  
out of breath, each day ends like it begins  
  
You're in my head*~  
  
Every time he looked at the empty seat beside him in the car, he thought about Ryou. Ryou smiling, curled up beside Malik. Ryou laughing at nothing particularly funny. Ryou crying the first time Malik kissed him. Malik turned on the radio only to listen to a song Ryou had loved.  
  
He drove for a couple minutes, forcing himself to think of nothing, when he remembered something funny Ryou had said before. His laugh turned into a choking sob as he remembered that there would be no more jokes. Ryou and he would never again spend the night telling each other stupid jokes. Or make fun of movies as they gorged themselves on popcorn.  
  
~*I drove four hundred miles the other day  
  
Biggest mistake that I ever made  
  
'Cause I saw you on every billboard sign  
  
In every car that passed me by I saw your face*~  
  
Malik drove by a motorcycle, only to have his mind supply an image of Malik driving his motorcycle, Ryou behind him, clutching around Malik's waist as the bike sped away. Malik turned off the radio only to be deafened by the silence. He swore he head a giggle. He turned around. Nothing.  
  
He looked back at the road, sighing. A billboard flashed by, advertising Ryou's favorite brand of potato chips. Malik remembered how he had watched in awe as Ryou had devoured the chips faster than anything he'd ever seen before. He also remembered the salty taste of his kisses afterwards.  
  
~*You're in my head, you're in my heart  
  
You're in that song on the radio in my car  
  
Even in my dreams  
  
I feel your skin on my skin  
  
out of breath, each day ends like it begins  
  
You're in my head*~  
  
He turned back on the radio, changing the station to sports. Suddenly, he was plagued by a memory of the time he and Ryou had made-out behind the stands at a high school football game. He could feel Ryou hands over his body, probing, prodding. He could hear Ryou's soft giggles in his ear.  
  
He slammed his hands on the wheel, groaning. This wasn't getting him anywhere. He's barely eaten, or slept since he'd left Ryou. Goddammit, this wasn't supposed to happen. Couldn't Ryou get out of his head. He heard his soft laughter again and grunted angrily, pressing down on the gas.  
  
~*Ain't no trigger I can trip  
  
No switch that I can flip  
  
Even if I wanted to  
  
you're in my head*~  
  
After driving several miles over the speed limit for awhile, he slowed down, sighing. The truth was, he hadn't broken up with Ryou for himself, but for Ryou's sake. Ryou needed someone who could love him, be truthful and –there- for him. Malik couldn't do that.  
  
He didn't want the memories of Ryou to leave, he wanted to hold onto them until could finally get over Ryou on his own. A lingering testament to what they had. He sighed, pulling into the parking lot of a bar, throwing himself onto a barstool and ordering a beer.  
  
~*You're in my head, you're in my heart  
  
You're in that song on the radio in my car  
  
Even in my dreams  
  
I feel your skin on my skin  
  
out of breath, each day ends like it begins  
  
You're in my head*~  
  
Ryou sat up in bed groggily. Dark rings circled his eyes, proof that he wasn't sleeping well. He looked thinned than ever, having not eaten for several days. All his thoughts were plagued by Malik, no matter how he tried to convince himself that Malik was gone.  
  
He looked over at the phone and noticed the message light flickering. He picked up the receiver and pushed a couple buttons, only to have Malik's voice come over the phone.  
  
"Hey, Ryou, it's me Malik. I was just calling, to, you know, see how you're doing. Um, call me." Ryou set the phone down gently, pulling the sheet around him and sobbing into his knees.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Umm, yeah, originally this wasn't supposed to be this sad. I had them get back together and be all happy and fluffy. But it just didn't fit the mood that I wanted for this piece so I changed it. Feel free to imagine what happened from there on your own, whether you want them to be happy or not. Thanks for reading. 


End file.
